(no subject)

I've been so miserable the past few months, end of story.

Travis comes back to school Thursday, I'm really excited.
I miss him a lot.

I was supposed to hang out with Jon today, my fucking bestfriend AND brother. But of course my dad pulls some shit where I can't or whatever.

Today, I skipped school. Went a lot of places, smoked a lot of cigarettes, and had an amazing day. Until it was over. Long story.

(no subject)

I believe in Control, the only force mighty enough to bring order to the chaos that is my world.

I believe that I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever to have existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and/or attention.

I believe that other people who tell me differently must be idiots. If they could see how I really am, then they would hate me almost as much as I do.

I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.

I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.

I believe in salvation through trying just a bit harder than I did yesterday.

I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of god, and memorize them accordingly.

I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and failures.

I believe in hell, because I sometimes think that I'm living in it.

I believe in my need to lose weight & I will strive for it until I can achieve it.

I'm a dreamer, no one believes me, and you don't either.